is when someone rains on your parade. Either that or shatters your plans/ideas like a hammer on a piece of glass.(I'm just venting right now.) This is why I never like to say anything to anyone until I'm confirmed that I'm going to do something. I'm indecisive as it is, I don't need people throwing their two cents at the last second to throw me into questioning everything I just went through. I know I'm a dreamer. I know that my plans aren't always logical, but I hate that I let myself feel limited by others. Like really. For someone with no authority or leverage to say, "well, those plans sound real nice, but right now it's not for you", when I haven't confirmed it for myself and they expect me to go along with it has some serious misunderstandings going for them. I know we can learn from others, but sometimes I want to learn from my own experience. Especially if it's something like career exploration. grr! I know economic times are not that hot, but there are jobs out there. I just don't want to settle for something I won't be happy doing. For example, I would like to explore Dental Assisting. That costs money. I *have* money, but I also *have* monthly payments to make (loans, insurance, etc.). I don't have a job. I need a job. BUT I want a job that I will enjoy. It's a double-edged sword, my friends, and the only thing I seem to feel is the twisting, in mocking doubt-filled spite. Obviously I'm vulnerable and extra-sensitive. I'm not a fan of people who are well meaning, but 'obviously know better' than I do, telling me no. I just feel like I have to fight for everything just so I can get something. Anything outside of what is "the way things should be" is not allowed unless everything works out just perfect and we never have any problems along the way. I'm impulsive, yes. But at this point in my life, I'm pretty much super researching things out before I even mention it for the first time to someone in passing. I'm not ADD when it comes to big life decisions. I'm just not.
Well, I've said my piece. I need to go to bed before my tirade gets any worse.
(For the sake of any judgin' going on, if you have any leads or know of any openings for desk jobs/front office/receptionist stuffs, let me know. If not, that's cool.)
1 comment:
Except that, having done marching band in the sweltering heat/humidity of Missouri, I *loved* rain at a parade. :D Less than ideal for brass instruments, but definitely much more comfortable to march in than 90 degree weather plus 90% humidity.
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