We are talking in group setting...
My sister is half-participating while grabbing snacks.
I'm fully invested.
He starts to extol certain virtues about himself...
He's a dreamer...
He's a hopeless romantic...
He went outside and spent time stargazing.
All by himself.
How do I feel about this?
Wondering.
Really?
Did you just admit that about yourself
in front of me?
How do I know you're not just putting on a show?
tryin' to make yourself look good?
Wow I'm jaded.
I'm not going to 'fess up
the things he said sounded pretty good to me.
...REALLY good.
I'm not going to tell him.
I open my mouth to say something genius(not really).
I question his choice of solitary activities.
Why would you want to be stargazing all by yourself?
Who does that?
The exact opposite of how I feel about it.
Self-betrayal.
Trying to cover up the fact that I just insulted him.
I blush.
Awkward.
He chuckles at my discomfort.
I try to avoid my embarrassment in a joking way,
changing topics...
He chuckles at my attempts to move on.
Unsuccessful.
He doesn't get the hint.
Knowledgeably nonchalant or
Dense as bricks.
Seems to be enjoying himself.
Good thing it's no big deal.
My feelings aren't hurt.
Yet.
He thinks it's funny that I blush so easily.
I don't.
It's not voluntary on my part.
He doesn't blush easily.
So not fair.
He smiles and says:
'Feel free to blush'
I do; almost as if on command.
I can't stop it.
Stupid.
I gave him what he wanted.
So predictable.
He chuckles again.
No control. Arrrgh.
Frustrated.
Um. Why was I attracted to him again?
I have to remind myself.
Charming
Funny
Personable
Similar connections
Oh wait. Did I forget
good looking?
Those qualities can also be found in
megalomaniacs (a slight exaggeration)
but I'm not attracted to them...
LOL
Why can't I be cool,
Collected,
Unaffected?
Please.
Survey sez:
I'm Transparent.
Can't hide what's inside.
Dangit.
2 comments:
My first thought was, "Catie UPDATED?!"
My second was, "ooh, this is FABULOUS and I need to show my roommates!" :D
Dearest Miss Lutz,
It's been ever so long since I've done any blogging and I came to say hello dear. But I also wanted to say who is this flirtatious chap? And by the way its not a bad thing to be transparent and blush easily, he probably thought it was cute, it didn't seem like he felt awkward. I hope all is well with you!
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