Response to "How to Stop the Inner Cringe When Good Things Happen to Others" article

I was on Facebook today and I saw that my friend G had posted this article about stopping ourselves from inner cringing when other people have success and then asked for additional thoughts and resources. Usually, I hesitate to voice a long-winded opinion on Facebook or any social forum, unless I know it will either it will significantly contribute or go uncontested (how nice of me). However, this presented no danger to me and I started typing my feelings on the subject until they filled the box and discovered I had a soapbox! I decided a blog post would be more appropriate than a mile-long Fb post. So, with that, here are my thoughts:

Yes, this happens almost daily on social networks anywhere in the world. Why so confident? We're human. All hardwired with the same set of emotions and feelings, differing only by the gradient of  their expression. I very much agreed with the strategies given in this article and I use several on myself. Here are similar thoughts and strategies I've used when I'm feeling that inner cringe:

-People live their lives at different paces. Stop believing that everyone goes through life stages or passes milestones at the same time in their lives. Don't expect that just because Joe/Jane Facebook has passed Life Stage X that you need to be there, too. Maybe you're at Life Stage Q, so what? There is nothing bad or wrong with you for being there.

-Enjoy your life where you're at. You’re here, make the best of it. Quit wishing it was or was not you. Are you in place in your life where you could make something like that happen to you? Do you actually want that to happen to you? Don’t wish your life away. It does nothing but make you unhappy.

-Stop comparing lives. Each life is an independent experience. Your life is not their life. Nor will it be anything like theirs because you’re not them. Your brain and how it processes is uniquely yours. Unless you’re a clone- and even then, not even close, you’ll still be different. Your life will not be the same as anyone else’s, no matter how closely your experiences mirror each other.

-Be authentic. Be reasonable. Don’t create false expectations of life in or for yourself.

-It important to be positive. Our minds LOVE to dwell on the negative and for whatever reason it seems to stick with us the most. Studies have shown (Gottman, 1994) that it takes 5 positive experiences to counter 1 negative experience. I find that when I surround myself with positive experiences I’m less likely to care about what I don’t have or be envious of others. People get envious because they are not happy in their own lives. They forget the good things that have happened to them lately (it could’ve been last week or yesterday, even).

-Realize that YOU create your life by your choices: past, present and future. Life doesn’t just happen, you make it happen. Any discrepancies that come are either because of your choice or the choices of someone else. Life is not fair. Life is not equal. You have a choice, but so does everyone else.

If you need to delve deeper:
-Ask yourself questions: What are your strengths? Talents? What is your purpose? Are you doing these things?

So, anytime you start to feel the cringe, stop yourself and do these instead. BAM. Do it.