Okay so I should explain that. My place of occupation is just east and upwind of the Orem Sewage Treatment plant, so on any given gusty morning, the smell of 'Orem's finest' permeates the air and alerts the senses to run for cover. So really this post is about me(surprise, surprise) waking up to my current reality. This is for me to say aloud to the whole wide web world that I've been living in a dream and it's time to wake up and face the facts. I am better than that. Life does not need to be extremes from one moment to the next. You have a good head on your shoulders, so use it.
Often times I like being busy because it keeps me from slipping into a dream-like state and causes me to be focused elsewhere more than on myself. Other times, I just get tired and have to relax and that's when I get myself into trouble with the dreaming. Not bad trouble, just unrealistic thinking and dreaming and that carries over into my real life only to cause little burrs under my saddle. My room tends to reflect my state of mind and it's time to tidy it up again. It's been cluttered and long overdue. I prefer the stacking method for things that need to be put away. My couch acts as a catchall for bags, clothes, shoes and unfinished projects. I believe my mental messiness has come from too much dreaming and not as much discipline. I have felt like my lack of gospel study has really held me back. I mean, I read the scriptures, but I don't feast on 'em. There is so much more I can do. I have enormous potential, I've just been too tired to do anything about because I try to do it when my mind is no longer awake and alert.
So for now, I just need to stop dreaming... and live.
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