tuesday night troubles

I'm honestly exhausted from yesterday, watching 3 kids on my own. I think the tiresome part was working with the 7 month old, besides watching the 5 and 7-year old as well. My arms are sore from holding the baby. It's been a billion years since I've had to lug around a little one. Those billion years roughly translate out to about 9-10 years ago, when my sister Em was the little one. Now she's all growed up and almost 11 years old this next month. YIKES. If I'm only her older sister, I can't even imagine how my mom feels about it...

I feel totally drained today. I'm mad because I didn't make it to the temple this week as a patron, due to everything else that went down this weekend. I didn't plan ahead and I can feel the absence of the extra spiritual strength. I also didn't have at least one positive interaction with guys this week and wasn't super social this weekend so that's also getting my goat. I did have an interaction this week but it wasn't very positive.

Our ward date night is in conjunction with an etiquette dinner/cotillion hosted by our Stake president's wife this Tuesday night. Tuesday? What the heck? I know. Really. Anyway, I did get asked out for it, but it was a guy that I'm not really comfortable with. He's a nice guy, but he just makes me embarrassed for him because he's a little socially awkward. Anyway, I'll make sure we have a nice time, but there's definitely no second date. I'm slightly dreading Tuesday night but once it's over I'll be able to breathe again.

Yes go ahead and accuse me of being shallow, hypocritical, not a good person, whatever you can think of. I said yes because I thought it was the right thing to do and that means that I'm not one of the 15 gals who still don't have a date. Beggars can't be choosers. Can't complain about not getting any dates if I turn them down, can I? Obviously I'm feeling a little insecure right now because I'm going on a date with a guy I'm completely uninterested in. There's nothing wrong with that, I know. I just have a conflict of emotions. I think after Tuesday I'll have a clearer head about things.

For now, you gotta deal with the vent.